Many people are afraid that their partner will cheat. After all, every second relationship is eventually faced with an affair. Are there factors that can prevent or even prevent infidelity?
Prevent infidelity: 6 measures to protect your relationship from infidelity
To prevent illness, we can swallow pills to stay fit, adhere to the rules for a healthy life - but in relationships the situation is different. Many consider the partner's infidelity to be a catastrophe that comes out of the blue - unpredictable, incalculable and thus unavoidable. It's hard to stop what you didn't see coming. But if certain tendencies within the relationship are considered dangerous, preventing them can act as a shield against attacks on your love We take a closer look at some potential protective factors:
Many complain most often about sex dissatisfaction. As a result a fulfilled sex life can prevent cheating, the researchers believe. Their data shows that sexual satisfaction offers a lot of scope for positive changes. It can also reduce the willingness of partners to improve sex satisfaction in an affair.
Immediately after complaints about sex comes the conversation behavior relating partnership problems (48 percent), followed by the way negative feelings or criticism are shown or expressed (47 percent). If you can't talk like that in your partnership and always end up in a mess when it comes to different opinions or wishes, it doesn't look good. Many couples display destructive conversation behavior within the relationship. In The Measurement of Love, the American psychologist writes that based on the communication of a couple, reliable predictions for the course of the relationship can be made. The more pejorative, negative and blocking two people talk to each other, the higher the chances that infidelity can arise.
If you really love your partner, you won't do anything to him or her - that's a widespread opinion. This is not often true when it comes to own situations. If you become unfaithful, you will sometimes find quite a few plausible reasons why you cheated - although you love the other. For example, 80 percent of the unfaithful said in the that they loved their partner. And they still cheated. There are countless motives for an affair and lack of love is only one of them. However, the close connection on an emotional level is a factor that can be significant in the case of possible temptations: couple therapist Wolfgang Krüger thinks that true loyalty is based on strength - by the feeling of choosing one person all with all consequences.
What a word - what an effect. Commitment means: committed to the relationship without reservations. Many people are not even aware of why exactly they are with their partner. Other people enter into relationships because they do not want to be alone, the opportunity was favorable, or the other was so pushy. Then you just slipped into it - and ended up in a rather disaster. A relationship should arise more because of an emotional connection. You should know your decision why you want to be with this one person. And confess it openly.
Commitment is also very important as it is an essential component in the growth process of a partnership. Above all, couple and sex therapists consider intimacy to be the magic element. This does not only mean (sexual) physical contact, it is about two people revealing themselves at the same time with the same intensity with their innermost feelings and thoughts. According to Ruland in The Psychology of Intimacy, this creates a bond that is very stable and can carry a partnership through bad times. The more intimate moments the partners share, the closer they are and the more difficult it is for a third party to to get in between.
Account, children, conventions
This also has to be said: The relationship circumstances have a significant influence on the (un-) loyalty behavior: Those who have built up common ground for years, have given birth to children and have created a material status sometimes pay a high price for the infidelity. Men and their loved ones in particular often underestimate the influence of attachment to children. Or their social status, possessions and reputation. For some people, this is the best way to prevent unfaithfulness - because if you weigh it up, the price for an affair seems very high.
The risk of infidelity can be reduced, but can never be completely eliminated
Good sex, great conversations, true love, real intimacy and shared possessions - all of these factors can tip the scales in the event of an accident, but they are all not suitable as the sole and above all reliable infidelity guardians. We have to come to terms with this: there is no one hundred percent protection against cheating.
Infidelity occurs in good and bad relationships alike. Loyalty is not always an active decision that we make consciously. Some are loyal without having decided to do so, simply because of a lack of opportunities or attractive offers, but also out of cowardice or lack of interest. There are many reasons why people cheat - it's not always sex. When someone seeks recognition, affirmation or attention in an affair, the physical sometimes plays a subordinate role.
Infidelity is the result of a gradual development, it does not happen by accident. In principle each partner takes a high risk in the promise of loyalty - which is fulfilled in the case of infidelity. But maybe we willingly have no influence on it - because we only notice what is going on when someone has cheated. A relationship is what two partners can do with one another. And you should always keep in mind that a relationship can be something like an independent being: It may also develop its own dynamics in terms of loyalty, which the partners deliberately cannot control.